When Did Social Media Stop Being Social?
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According to dictionary.com, the word social refers to the relations of human beings in a community. Technology has now brought us together into a broad, global online community. Twitter, facebook, and other forms of social media have brought us together. They now allow us to connect with each other from across the globe.
I can now communicate instantly across the internet with my wife, my in-laws, my parents and even my grandparents. I can reach out to new people and make friends and safely connect and engage perfect strangers in conversations.
But as with any good thing, people soon try to figure out how to monetize it even at the expense of it’s quality. People spam their links across Twitter. They market their worthless products. They excessively use auto-tweeters and affiliate links. They don’t engage and connect as real people. They don’t understand what it means to be social.
Even though I say they, I really mean we. We do these things. We spam the people around us thinking that it helps build our online products.
Group Reflection
What ever happened to being social? What ever happened to acting like members of a community? When did we stop having real conversations? When did we stop acting like humans?
Mick Morris said:
Nic, this is a damn good question… how hard is it to have a good chat by whatever means, phone, email, twitter, facebook… A CONVERSATION I said… get it people?
Yet again you are setting a challenge. Love it Nicholas
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Nicholas Cardot said:
Mick Morris » Thanks, Mick. Too many people are really missing the big pictures when it comes to social media and we’re all losing out on some of the best benefits of these new technologies.
Chris Palmer said:
This is something I’ve been thinking about a lot the last few days.
And I decided I needed a real, personable direction with my social ‘marketing’:
Start Real Conversations
That’s it.
Assist people on twitter. Say hey to people and just TALK (solve problems with my expertise and be human).
Talk WITH people on Facebook, not AT them.
And as always, keep an open conversation environment on my blogs (already taken care of).
Cool post! Thanks
Nicholas Cardot said:
Chris Palmer » That’s good that you’ve been thinking about it. Those personal conversations are so vital to really building relationships that matter with people.
I like how you put it as talking with people and not at them. That’s exactly what needs to be happening.
Mike Stenger said:
As much as I agree with what you’re saying Nick, there’s a TON of people having real conversations right now in social media.
Yes, there’s quite a few going about it the wrong way, totally, but social media is far from one big clusterf*ck of links, links, and more spam.
Depending on what you see has a lot to do with those you follow. If you autofollow, chances are you’re going to see a bunch of spammers and massive self-promoters whereas if you’re more specific with who you listen to, you’re far less likely to experience this.
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Keith said:
This is exactly what happened to me, I followed anyone and everyone, and it almost ruined Twitter for me, I was so fed up with it I wanted to stop using it.
I found the reason I like social media after getting rid of all the garbage, I @reply more, and more people @reply me, so I am having conversation again…..
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Nicholas Cardot said:
Mike Stenger » Don’t get me wrong, Mike. I agree that it is taking place. But it’s the exception to the rule. If you pick 100 random people across twitter, I would almost guarantee that 90 of them would be straight up full of links. You’re right about the idea of being specific about who you follow. It will really help you to not get lost in the sea of spam sewage.
Olusegun said:
For bloggers, it was when commenting became one-sided.
Sometimes i feel that bloggers are becoming very choosy about whose comments they reply to.
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Nicholas Cardot said:
Olusegun » That’s a double edged sword. It is important to reply to comments, but if a blogger has to choose between responding to a comment or focusing on a project that they are going to make thousands of dollars from then you are essentially asking them to hate money and choose you over providing for their family. Does that make any sense? Not really. In my mind, it’s about finding balance. It’s about building our products while still focusing on community.
Dana @ Blogging Update said:
I think it is because we do not see social media as personal anymore. We see it as purely business and that make we tend to spam so many link trough it.
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Nicholas Cardot said:
Dana @ Blogging Update » You’re right. Most people don’t see it that way at all. Most people see it as a means to promote their business ventures and that’s all.
Reza Winandar said:
My suggestion for Twitter marketer is : Don’t tweet too much at the same time, it makes your link worthless.
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Nicholas Cardot said:
Reza Winandar » I don’t care how many links someone posts at the same time. Advice like that will teach people how to not appear as a spammer, but how about instead of just not ‘appearing’ like a spammer, we actually change our mindset and stop being a spammer. How about you post 100 links a day, but you post 300 @replies and chat with people and make friends. The point is I don’t care how many links or whatever people post, I just want them to be a real person about it.
Edwin said:
it stopped being social once people found out “Hey i can make money blogging”. so all they care about is the money not the connections
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Nicholas Cardot said:
Edwin » That’s true. The key is to find a balance of both in my opinion. You can make money, but you can still be personal as well.
Glen said:
Couldn’t agree more.
It’s the reason that I currently don’t bother with Twitter or other forms of social media.
I think the current business model is coming apart and that is why paid forums are becoming more prevalent as a money making tool.
Obviously business people are using social media to find customers more than build lasting friendships but business is business.
When this form of advertising proves ineffective to business then Twitter, et.al. will return to being a social platform.
Nicholas Cardot said:
I don’t think that we need to remove ourselves from social media completely in order to make things right, but we need to do the right things ourselves and focus on associating ourselves with others who are being real online. There’s no need to run and hide from Social Media, but just follow the people that you want to follow.
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Sanford said:
A good question but not a new problem. Although spam is annoying, some version of it has been around since there has been a marketplace. We are lucky here in that filters and blocks allow us more control.
Telemarketers and phone scammers still exist. The days of finding leaflets and flyers under your windshield wipers in mall parking lots are dwindling. But, you still find kids outside stores pleading for you to buy their cookies and candy bars. Junk mail still shows up in the mailbox. Religious sects and politicians can still come to your door. I can remember when car salesmen and real estate people would hand out business people would hand out their cards in bars and coffee shops.
Though we may not always disagree with the product (Who can hate Girl Scout cookies?), the fact is that these are things brought to our attention in sometimes annoying and obtrusive ways.
I dont think we’ll ever totally get rid of it because marketers will always push their products where people gather.
It is up to us to be aware and willing to say yes or no or ignore.
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Nicholas Cardot said:
That’s a pretty good point. What’s the difference between selling girl scout cookies and begging people to buy them and selling a great product online and begging people to buy it? There is no difference. That something to think about.
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Gautam Hans said:
I think the problem has always have been that people start taking hasty decisions and try a lot to make money fast and that is where the whole purpose is defeated. Being social is about making connections and becoming part of a network
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Nicholas Cardot said:
That’s exactly what being social is about.
My Latest Blog Post: When Did Social Media Stop Being Social?
Dennis Edell said:
Yep, hence my total deletion of several accounts last year.
I’ll be coming back to some soon, twitter first, but a lot more conservatively and picky in who I choose to follow; etc.
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Nicholas Cardot said:
That’s good. I’m trying to engage a lot more on Twitter as well. The number one thing that makes it so difficult for me is the fact that I’m stuck at work for 50+ hours a week. Sometimes it’s hard to reach out the way that we should, but we’ve just got to keep trying.
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Anne Moss said:
I think it’s a matter of following the right people. I try not to follow spammers. My Twitter interactions are extremely social – to the point that I’ve already met almost ten people from Twitter and have made some great friends for life. It’s not all spammers out there…
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Nicholas Cardot said:
That’s really neat. I’ve made some amazing friends online as well and I’ve recently become more selective about who I follow on Twitter as well. My only criteria for who I follow now is to see whether or not a person actually replies to people and interacts or if they just post random links non-stop.
My Latest Blog Post: When Did Social Media Stop Being Social?
Damian Herrington said:
While I agree with the comments being made I personally feel that social interaction can be elitist at times. I read a lot of design blogs and the amount of websites I see that appear over and over on every single blog as a top 10 or something similar is down to false social interaction. While some of these website are great, there other great designers out there that aren’t put into the spotlight because nobody may have come across their work and so if the names not known, the feeling is I won’t show that persons work.
Its the same for twitter, I follow some known names in the industry and while it allows me to be apart of what there doing and learn as a designer/developer I feel its one sided. If somebody tweets something, wanting the reader to view or comment on something I make the effort, but if I ask for advice or assistance I don’t usually get anything in return. I understand that people are busy but if your on twitter why aren’t you helping and socialising with everybody instead of the people who are already known. Thats where I believe social interaction and social media breaks down because its down purely to helping the well known people.
Web Hosting UK said:
The social suppose to be there, social Media is a tool and a valuable one to establish ones presence within the community. Really the online personal should be more or less a gateway to establishing real offline connections.
Joe said:
Hey Nicholas,
In many ways I agree that social networks are less “social” these days. In fact, a disturbing trend has started on Twitter that leaves me confused.
Follow Friday used to be about people suggesting to their followers other tweeters who would be worthwhile to follow.
But lately not only has Follow Friday become Follow Sat. Sun. Mon. etc., but people are re-tweeting other peoples’ follow list!!!
Hence, I’m being mentioned by people, telling others to follow me, and they themselves aren’t following me and I’ve never had any contact with them!
On the one hand I appreciate the mention, but at the same time, nothing could be more impersonal! Surely these people haven’t even looked at my Twitter profile!
It wasn’t like that when I first joined Twitter, and certainly adds to the “social” aspect degrading.
Zachary Searcy said:
Everyone is trying to figure out the next “thing” in social media. This stuff is only as good as the people in it. There is no “next step”. It’s us! Twitter is going to end up sucking because “we” suck. We need to start bringing our open source philosophy to the “real world” and stop living behind a digital wall in the virtual world. This social media stuff is a very important part of our evolution as a people. It can either make us awesome, and we can take what we’ve learned and start applying it to our real world relationships, or it can just be another thing for us to foul up. Gen Y and Gen M need to stick to their guns with this friends=family stuff. Breeding real communities will breed excellent social media.
Robyn from Sam's Web Guide said:
Interesting thought Nicholas.
Its just the way of the world, we will always find ways of monetizing all aspects of the web, but then it should not be at the expense of a truly social experience.
I think that the spammers and scammers who bombard social networks will not last.
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andy said:
I suppose that social media is like many things in life – you get out of it what you put into it (to use a rather tired expression).
Surely, there are people making use of it to be social, and surely there are people using it to make money.
For me, the best use of social media is for communicating with friends (old or new), though this may be just because I have not figured how to monetize it.
I found this post (and this website) today because of a link to it on Twitter. Having said that, I also traded a few quick lines with Nicholas, which is somewhat social.
I am interested in this website and the conversation in which I am commenting, so I would say that my opinion is that social media is not hurting society; social media is just changing its structure.
Ellen said:
I think it’s always important to remember that there is a real PERSON at the other end of the tweets (I am a Twitter user) Even tho it is limited to 140 characters, if someone has a question, try and reply to them. There is nothing more irritating than to feel it is all one sided.
Same with commenting on peoples blogs- dont make us feel as if we are talking to ourselves