Excuse me, friend, your jealousy is showing

  • 0
  • December 18, 2010

Why are you so upset with those at the top? Are they tainted simply because they’ve reached that level of success? You sound almost like you’re bitter or angry at them.

I understand cheering for the up and comers. Lord knows I believe in that, but I also believe firmly in the idea of learning from people who have achieved success.

If you’re going to cut out Chris Brogan, you’re missing out on the wisdom of a man who has applied human business in a way that has allowed him to communicate to millions of people online and in print.

If you’re going to cut out Darren Rowse, you’re missing out on the years of knowledge that has led him to making a quarter of a million dollars per year while still helping and connecting with people.

If you’re going to cut these people out just because they’re ‘tainted’ with success, you’re missing out.

It’s prejudice to claim that they are arrogant jerks simply because they have a greater level of success and that shouldn’t deter you from learning from them.

57 SHARES

About Nicholas Cardot

It's my personal quest to enable every person that I can to unlock that dormant potential concerning their online influence. Also, I'm a geek.

59 Comments

  • Brankica says:

    There is a great saying in my country that says: “People will forgive you everything except success”.
    Instead of learning from those on the top and trying to follow them to that same top, people try to pull them down.

    • Nicholas Cardot says:

      It’s a shame, but it seems as if it’s built into our nature to do that.

      We feel like everything is a competition in the sense that it’s either them or us and it can’t be both. Yet, I feel like it’s a competition where we can all win when we put in the work to make it happen.

      I think that it might stem from that sense that we’re doing everything that we know to do and yet we just can’t seem to achieve the same level of success as some. It drives us to think that they are there only because they are lucky when the truth is that they’ve discovered what it takes to become successful and we haven’t.

      Hence the reason why we should be doing everything that we can to learn from them and not just from those who are trying to be successful.

    • Eman Cruz says:

      Brankica a lot of people wanted to be at the top, but there are only a few top slots. So, people who failed to get on the top are pulling people down, thinking that this will bring them to the top. It’s a shame that there are people like this.

      Honestly, I’m envious of Nick for his blog, I envy his design, I envy the way his posts gets attention, and I envy how he succeeded with his goal. But, I use this feeling to be motivated and pursue my goals to become like him in the future :D So I won’t be envious of him anymore :P

      • Nicholas Cardot says:

        Eman, that’s not true. Success isn’t a slot based game. There is no limit to the number of people who can achieve success. Every one of us can work smart and hard and accomplish great things. Don’t feel like you have to be better than someone else or that you have to bump someone out of their spot in order to get at it yourself. You don’t have to pull me down; you can stand right beside me and we can both be great.

  • Allison says:

    I think we all forget that there was a time when these people weren’t successful.

    It seems to me that the anger (for most people) comes when it appears that these people don’t have time for the “little people” anymore because they’re successful, when the truth is that they just have to deal with such a massive number of people every day that they have to take care of pressing matters first. And beyond that, once you’re successful, for every one genuine people contacting you, you have ten people who just want to use you. I recently wrote a post on BlogWorld called “Scott Stratten Doesn’t Know Who You Are” about the fact that we often complain that these successful bloggers aren’t recognizing us, when the truth is that they have no idea they’re ignoring us.

    I agree with you – cutting these people out because they’re successful is just spiting yourself. It’s like if you’re in college studying chemistry and you refuse to sign up for a class taught by a world-class chemist and instead only go to classes taught by TAs. It just doesn’t make sense!

    • Nicholas Cardot says:

      I think that you bring up a good point as you talk about the idea of these successful men and women not having time for the little people.

      I’m actually surprised at how approachable many of these people are but I think that people often hop out of the shadows and begin asking for time-consuming favors before they have the time to introduce themselves or to build a friendly relationship with them.

      In that past week, I’ve helped two friends migrate their entire websites onto new domains. I did this entirely for free. Both of these are friends that I met online. I’ve never met them in real life. On one site, we ran into a error finalizing the redirect because of how the domain was set up on their server and it took us a little bit of time to adjust the domain properly.

      I would never be able to expend that kind of time on a perfect stranger. When people ask for those types of favors before I even know who they are, it causes me to fear that our entire relationship will be built on me giving and giving and giving.

      And although I definitely want to help as much as possible, those who are my friends will always come before someone who simply jumps up and begins begging for time.

      And to think that these others who are at the peak of success in these various niches are still as approachable as they are, it actually boggles my mind. They are far busier than I am and yet they’re usually incredibly easy to talk to, but when they’re not, we need to understand it’s because they have priorities, lives, families or maybe they just want to get off the computer and play Frisbee with their dog.

      But regardless of the amount of time someone can give me personally, I’ll still follow or read someone who is sharing free information that contains the knowledge I’m looking for.

      …I’m rambling.

      • Allison says:

        Rambling, maybe, but it’s all true. So many people approach others with the mindset “this person can help me.” Ask yourself: “Would I still be friends with this person if they couldn’t do anything to help me ever?” If the answer is no, you shouldn’t be friends with them in the first place! Bloggers who are successful and get tons of emails/tweets/etc every day have no idea which type of person you are, so you have to show them!

        • Nicholas Cardot says:

          Allison, I really need your help with something and it’s only going to take a few hours of your time. Just go through my site, article by article, and tweet every single one in 15 minute increments. If you would just use your massive influence to spread the word about my site, I would have such a powerful audience that I could land a 12 page novel about a dead porcupine onto the New York Times Bestseller list…and if you don’t, I’ll hate you forever and bad mouth you and your type in all of my future posts.

          I’ve seen people approach successful people this way. They want…want…want, and they get upset when the individual doesn’t reciprocate.

          I’m becoming more and more convinced that we need to bring our offline lifestyles into our online interactions. The manners, the conversational chats, and the friendliness that defines our behavior offline is the same that should drive us online.

          You know from talking with me on Twitter, that I’m often joking, chatting or just being casual. I wish more online personalities would be this way.

          If you want a successful person to respond to you, be a real person to them. Don’t stalk them like a lion hunting its prey. Don’t fawn over them like a groupee. Don’t beg for favors.

          There’s a real human being behind that Twitter avatar so be a real person to real people.

      • Nicole a.k.a Finance Diva says:

        Nick,

        I meant to pay you for this migration, cause time is money and I am seeing a little bit of success from my blog.

        Did I ever do it?

        Nicole

    • Farnoosh says:

      Alli, well said. I know you share the same thoughts on your BlogcastFM interview and I can’t agree more with you AND Nicholas here.
      My only response is that success isn’t a zero sum game. There IS enough to go around for everyone and jealousy is a waste of time and belongs only with those who aren’t willing to claim success for their own. So move on and ignore those people and pave your own path – and oh yes, learn from the wonderful successful people who are sharing their secrets so generously with us!

      • Nicholas Cardot says:

        Your perspective on the zero sum principle is exactly right. I think that far too often we’re made to believe that it’s either us or them and we really miss out on the success that we could both be enjoying.

    • Jean says:

      Allison,
      You raise many good points! I also think that many times we mere mortals forget that the rules of establishing a relationship with an A list blogger are basically the same as with anyone else. We must find a common ground to engage on, a cause, an interest that is shared, we must speak in our natural voice and we must lend our support to their causes.

      Uplifting others before promoting ourselves works to build relationships be it with a hotel maid or a Queen. It just might take the Queen a bit longer to see your efforts as so many others are also looking to connect!

      off to check out your site now:)

      • Nicholas Cardot says:

        That’s a really good point. A few days ago a made a new friend on Twitter. We chatted and became friends quickly. Only after a couple of days of connection did I learn that she was one of the primary bloggers at the Blog World Expo Blog. Talk about an A-lister. ;)

        A now, here we both are talking to Allison.

        Too many people approach them like groupies and wonder why they’re repelled from them. People just want real connections, real friends, and real conversations. I’m convinced of it.

  • Justin Popovic says:

    Good post Nicholas. As long as someone hates on the successful person, they can never achieve success for themselves. You can’t become something if subconsciously you think is wrong/bad.

    A big part of what makes people successful is that they admire and model other successful people.

    • Nicholas Cardot says:

      I agree. I think that this attitude can be a powerful stumbling block that can really hold people back.

      I’ve noticed at work that when one person has something positive happen to them, often others begin making statements like, “Aww, man. That’s just not fair. That type of stuff never happens to me.”

      What’s wrong with just being happy for the good fortunes of the people around us? I love watching people around me succeed.

      I’m in a competition to do the best I can, but I’m not in a competition against them but rather only against my own potential.

      I don’t care if I become a better writer than you or anyone else. I just want to know that I’m doing the best that I can, and if you are doing better than I am I want to congratulate you and learn from you.

      Have you seen that attitude in the people around you, Justin? Have you ever been the one with that attitude yourself?

      I know I have, but it’s liberating to get past it.

  • Shenee says:

    I think that I have made the conscious decision to support fellow up-and-comers because I truly believe that there has to be a shift in thinking within the blogging community. It’s so hard for bloggers to break through because we throw our support at sucessful bloggers and forget the community that we are a part of. If we could get behind each other, we could be making an impact too. And successful is never = to the best. Or the most knowledgeable. I know of a couple of people with life-changing things to say — maybe better — than then some of the bigger blogs, but they aren’t playing the game as hard. Success is a game.

    Here’s my thing:Everyone knows Paul and Darren have valuable things to say. How about a fresh point of view?

    I would rather throw my support to someone who is trying to make their way.

    • Nicholas Cardot says:

      I respect that position very much. I want to help people to grow and as far as support goes, I love getting behind people and watching them grow, develop and accomplish great things.

      I love that.

      But I think that if we want to grow ourselves that we need to be sure that we’re taking in the material that really going to help us grow.

      I think that in an effort to hear the new voice, we begin taking advice from someone on a subject who has never actually experienced success on that subject and then we wonder why we’re not getting anywhere.

      Perhaps the greatest example of this concept is the make money online blogs. There are tons of people trying to build a following teaching principles about building an online income when they have yet to make any money from their online ventures.

      I will support and get behind them, but I’m not going to take that advice very seriously because they are only guessing. Once they’ve done it, then I know that their advice is the real deal and that it’s worth listening to.

      Don’t mistake me. I’m not talking about who you should support. We absolutely should be supporting the up and comers. That’s definitely the right answer.

      I’m talking about who we learn from. Just as Allison said above, would you reject attending a class taught by a world-renowned physicist who has won a Nobel Peace Prize and instead support an up and coming teachers assistant and attend their class?

      You would be cutting yourself short to pass up that amazing opportunity to learn.

  • Melody says:

    This is a great conversation. I am stunned that it takes only a small amount of success, and there will be those who find some reason to be upset with or dislike a successful person. Rarely does this appear to be grounded in reality. It would not surprise me to find out that @unmarketing maybe even has been blocked a few times.

    The very successful don’t have time to respond to every single person who wants their attention. It’s not personal, though many take as a personal affront.

    Having said that, like the person above me, Shenee, I try to support up and coming blogs. (I do comment on and read well-established blogs too! ;)). Small, lesser known blogs, have their own special opportunity for connection.

    • Nicholas Cardot says:

      Your attitude is almost exactly how I feel, Melody. As with you and Shenee, I love the connection opportunity with those bloggers who have lesser known bloggers and I spend almost all of my time with that type of blogger. I am that type of a blogger.

      But I don’t reject those who are at the top either. I learn way too much valuable information from them to simply turn my back on them.

      I want to buck the system. I want to be the guy who started with nothing and ended up at the highest pinnacles of success. I want to achieve more than Darren, Chris and others, and I want as many others as possible to join me. But I don’t need to ignore the successful or wish ill of them to accomplish it.

      I’m sure that @unmarketing has been blocked a few times. Some people are just repulsed to see another person achieving success. Watching it is like nails on a chalkboard. It’s disgusting to some.

      Have you ever felt that way, Melody? Have you felt that jealousy from the good fortune of someone around you?

      • Melody O says:

        It seems that the kind of blogs you’re talking about are those about social media and blogging, and probably dominated by people like Mack Collier and others. I understand what you are saying. I know have much to learn from them. And yes it probably is likely that these people have had people react with anger and jeolousy and blocking them. I’m a little sensitive to the issue about being blocked – I’d say that 99% of the time that is born of misunderstanding because 140 char is so limiting.

        There is of course an entire world of small non ranked blogs -personal blogs, hobby blogs, food blogs, knitting blogs, in my little niche (coffee) there are a TON of blogs!

        I have had a few painful conversations, received some nasty emails and comments. There aren’t many _fan_ blogs for big brands and it leads to confusion over why one is doing this. I have stories!I’ve been on the receiving end of some nasty emails and comments (‘corporate parasite’ plus more). I keep doing what I do because it is fun to me. Talking about Starbucks is way easier than the real conversations we could have of what it was like spending an entire year in a courtroom where every case was a domestic violence case. I’ve said way too much.

        My point only being I enjoy a number of small blogs that are personal blogs and niche blogs, and people blogging for heartwarming reasons and not because they are trying to pursue some level of visibility. However, with my own experience, if you get to even a small level of visibility, people will throw mud at each other just for fun. Makes me sad.

        • Nicholas Cardot says:

          You’re right that the ones I’m mentioning are about social media and blogging but that’s because I don’t seem to see it happening much outside of these niches. Nobody says they’re not going to watch an Angeline Jolie movie because she’s not approachable and therefore she’s a jerk. That would be silly. No one says that about main stream music and nobody says it about Coleman grills. I’ve never once been able to talk to that Coleman guy who built the first grill for that company.

          We don’t expect that. In fact, though, we often read biographies about these men and woman who do great things without their accessibility ever crossing our minds. Most of us praise them and admire their work ethic.

          Don’t ever let people steer you away from your passion. Don’t let the naysayers get you down. I actually just fell in love with Starbucks last week and I’ve been drinking about 1 a day since then. It’s like my daily vacation to sit and sip my White Chocolate Mocha. I even bought a cup. It’s really a shame that you live all the way in Seattle or it would be a lot of fun to meet up at a Starbucks.

  • Amitash says:

    Nick, You make a very good point that “It’s prejudice to claim that they are arrogant jerks simply because they have a greater level of success and that shouldn’t deter you from learning from them.”

    Did you experience something that made you write this post?

    • Nicholas Cardot says:

      Actually, Amitash, this post was inspired by a conversation that I was having with a very close friend of mine.

      He and I actually slightly disagree on the subject and I thought that I would share my take on the subject with my friends at Site Sketch 101 and see how you all felt about the idea.

  • Gibson Goff says:

    Yeah, Nick. What put the burr under your saddle, buddy?

    Enlighten us so we can all see the lesson.

    • Nicholas Cardot says:

      I hate that it came across as though I have a burr in my saddle, but you’re probably right that it’s sort of how I feel.

      This is actually inspired from a conversation that I had with a very close friend.

      I just don’t want people to miss out on opportunities because of a misplaced sense of anger towards those who don’t have time for us.

      Folks listen to the Beatles, Elvis, Katy Perry, Pink, and other music groups even though they don’t respond personally to people who try to talk to them. In fact, their security would snatch you up if you tried.

      But we still consume their material because it’s such high quality.

      We watch movies with Angelina Jolie, Johnny Depp, Jessica Alba and others even though they wouldn’t give us the time of day either. We do because their material, their movies, are top notch. They’re valuable.

      In real life industries, we don’t judge products by the accessibility of the product’s creators, but as soon as we hop online, we demand that people pour their time out to us and we call them names if they don’t.

      I’m a strong advocate of us bringing our offline sense of business and our offline sense of human relationships into the online world with us.

      I am very sorry if I came across as overtly negative. That certainly wasn’t my intent.

  • Michael Bertoldi says:

    Nice post Nick,

    I’d like to touch on (or write a blog post in your comment section) what you and Allison were discussing as far as these guys helping the “little people.”

    I recently encountered an incident with the aforementioned Chris Brogan. An incident of compassion and kindness that he didn’t have to convey, nor was he asked to do so! He helped without being asked, isn’t that something?

    Here’s the quick story. I applied for a Social Media job. I made a website dedicated to getting the job. I sent Chris Brogan a DM asking him to check it out. He tweeted “Now THIS is asking for a job” followed by a link to the website and my twitter name.

    The hits for that website went through the roof. The day he tweeted that the website received 426 visits and 643 pageviews compared to the um… probably less than 10 the day before.

    Keep in mind I only asked him to check it out, not to tweet about it. The amount of retweets that came in were astounding and people were retweeting Chris with “good luck” and “nice job” type of sentiment in front of the retweet.

    I’ve even been interviewed for an inbound marketing blog by a really nice guy who came across the site via Chris’ tweet. See, the people hiring may not care that much that Chris Brogan tweeted about the site I made for them, but you never know when someone else could see it and what that could lead to.

    To sum up my long post, you are freakin’ right some of these people are approachable and some are down right helpful. I guess you can tell you’re successful when you’ve got haters right? Chris didn’t have to look at the site. He didn’t have to tweet about it. But he did without me even asking.

    In summary, I say hate on haters.

    • Nicholas Cardot says:

      That’s quite the conclusion, Michael. I certainly don’t want to hate on the haters. I hope to persuade them that there is a better way but I certainly respect those who disagree.

      Chris Brogan really is an approachable guy, much more so than most New York Times Bestselling authors.

      I don’t know anyone who has his level of success in any other industry who is as approachable as he is. It actually astounds me.

      But, Michael, even if he wasn’t approachable, if he has the information that I’m looking for, I’m still going to take it from him. That story you tell is just icing on the already delicious cake.

      I saw an advertisement once for someone calling himself the rich jerk. Apparently, he understands that in the end, it doesn’t matter how nice you are. If you have the skills to make cash and provide for your family then people will bite.

      Of course, I don’t want anyone to be a jerk. I’m certainly not advocating that. I am, however, saying that we should focus on what we can learn from these folks instead of just dismissing them blindly.

      Look, now you’ve made me write another blog post in my comments section.

      Michael, what do suppose it is inside of us that makes us so repulsed by successful people?

      • Tia Singh, Ms Awesome ;) says:

        It’s not repulsion, it’s envy.

        Insecurity. Lack of self worthiness. The evil gremlins that pop up saying – I’ll never be able to do that.

        The gremlins that say I’m not doing enough, I’m not good enough, smart enough, fast enough, rich enough – the comparison gremlin!

        We ALL feel it from time to time. Even the big guys. Trust me. It’s human. The ones who bite and block, they just haven’t learned to accept their shadow sides, haven’t realised that someone else’s success does not mean their failure.

        Read that one again – someone else’s success is not your failure.

        And yet, cos our society is built around competition and winning, this is what people start to feel.

        It’s time to redefine success. On your terms.

        What does it mean to be successful for you? What if no one else in the world was “successful”, would you still want all that you do? Maybe, maybe not. Food for thought.

        Thank you for spending that hour migrating my site btw, I’m so lucky to have you for a friend and yes, I’d still be your friend if you never could help me with anything ever. In fact, I was, and that’s why you helped me :)

        • Melody O says:

          Really excellent food for thought. I like your statement, “someone else’s success is not your failure”.

          • Nicholas Cardot says:

            That’s because Tia is an absolutely genius. We try to keep that a secret, but she’s a rock star when it comes to this stuff.

        • Nicholas Cardot says:

          I agree and I disagree. I think that your description of those gremlins is perfectly accurate. Those gremlins come after all of us.

          I don’t feel that we need to redefine success in that for many of us success is measured in being able to provide for our families and be truly good at what we do. We do however need to redefine it in that we don’t need to be better than someone or see their success pale to our own in order to achieve it.

          And you’re right. That’s why I’m so happy to help you like that, Tia. It’s a pleasure working with people like you. It’s friends like you that make life so much fun.

  • Barbara Ling, Virtual Coach says:

    Success is as success does.

    Always ask yourself, What can I learn from these folk?

    Take the good, leave the bad, and be grateful the Internet allows you to get all this great knowledge for free. It’s up to you to use it.

    • Nicholas Cardot says:

      That’s exactly right, Barbara. I’m absolutely in love with the opportunities that the internet makes available to us. I learn more online than I have in some college courses.

  • Keith says:

    I have to say I was quite shocked to see this posted without our entire conversation included.

    Guess I will follow up with a post entitled “Excuse Me Friend, Your Arrogance Is Showing”…….

    • Nicholas Cardot says:

      Actually, I didn’t post the rest of the conversation because I didn’t want to call anyone out on it. I didn’t want to stand up and say, “This is what my friend says. He is wrong. I am right.”

      I wanted it to come across as an isolated thought and not as a negative response to someone.

      I literally just used my response almost verbatim and just shared it out on here to see what my friends here at Site Sketch 101 would have to say about it.

      You know that I respect your opinion, but I respectfully disagree.

  • Christopher says:

    I absolutely agree with the idea of this post. However, I also feel it lacks context.

    Is it about who to model yourself after? Or about who you choose to engage with online?

    I had a friend who never wanted to read the latest book, or learn from others, because he was fearful he might be influenced by them, and have to give them credit for one of his ideas. He was a smart man, but I think he missed out on adding to his knowledge through other peoples experiences.

    I for one want to learn from as many people as possible, give credit where it is due, and help others get where I am trying to go. What better way than to look at people who are already there, and learn from them, or even ask for help at some point (but in asking for their help, do you help others?).

    • Nicholas Cardot says:

      I actually left the context fairly open ended on purpose because everyone that I seem to talk to ends of steering the conversation into a different direction and it’s actually fun and educational to me to watch that.

      I personally feel that it’s less abut modeling or engaging with those people and more about your attitude towards them. If you’re upset at them without being able to provide a specific reason other than making blanket statements like, “You’re a jerk.” then I think that we’re missing out.

      If we have issue with one person for a specific reason, I have no issue with that. But if we throw a blanket across the internet and refuse to acknowledge anything positive about anyone with any level of success, then we’re making a grave mistake.

      And if we’re doing that simply because we don’t want to have to give credit to someone else that we learned it from, it only exposes our insecurities.

      Like you, Christopher, I want to learn from as many people as possible and with that comes the idea that I don’t want to cut off some of the smartest people from influencing that education.

  • Gabriele Maidecchi says:

    It’s in the human nature to be envious of someone else’s accomplishments.
    I feel like sometimes envy can be positive as it should push you forward into achieving those results yourself, but most of the times it just remains a sterile, futile emotion.

    • Nicholas Cardot says:

      I’ve actually written about that competition mindset and I don’t think it’s necessarily bad. But when it drives us to resent those who are doing better than we are then it becomes a negative trait. It’s that same mindset that we often joke about as we refer to keeping up with the Jones’.

  • Craig Carrigan says:

    This is one thing I’ve never understood. When I see successful people like Chris and Darren, all I want to do is consume all of what they do, because they are doing things that I’m (obviously) not, or if I am, they’re doing it much better.

    But some people like to hate. I know quite a few people who love to hate those who are successful. They shun those people, discard their knowledge, and forgo any ideas they could get from these people. Those people will forever be stuck in their rut, sadly enough.

    • Nicholas Cardot says:

      Me too, Craig. I want to take in as much as I can, but I don’t just want the information that they’re making public. I also want to observe them in action. I want to see what projects they have going on, what business model they’re using, and what strategies are really working to help them make it big. I want to know everything about them so that I can choose in an educated manner what principles I can incorporate into my life.

  • Ron Leyba says:

    Short but very clear message sent to your readers Nick! I enjoyed this article more than you know haha. And I agree to your thoughts about this topic.

  • Carolee a.ka. Blogging Biz Mom says:

    It’s the “biggie bloggers” who have made it that we can learn from…

    Without them, how would I have known to boot blogger and go with WordPress? Which plug-in’s to use? What blogs to visit? That I shouldn’t tweet EVERYTHING I do…

    I wish I could kidnap all of those ahead of me in the blogging game and suck up all of the knowledge they have to offer….

    I agree with you whole-heartedly on what you said about “self-education”, Nicholas.

    I KNOW I have learned more in the last 5 years on the Internet than I EVER learned in high school and college!

    The opportunities are endless and I am excited to be learning from the best, then passing that information on to the “newbies” I work with.

    You almost have to feel bad for the “haters”….the knowledge they will miss out on!

    • Nicholas Cardot says:

      I do feel bad for them. I honestly have no resentment and I wish no ill-will on those who disagree with me in this post. I would still be happy for them if they reached the pinnacles of successes that they’re hoping for. I had someone ask me today at work if it bothered me to be stuck at work when others are at home relaxing. I answered without hesitation. Absolutely not. It does not bother me at all. I love watching my friends get good things in life and I wish the very best on everyone around me even if we disagree on something minor like their attitude toward someone that most of us have never met.

      But I find that more often than not, they don’t find that success. They spend their time trying to do their own thing and they miss out on the information that they could have gained.

      Another friend mentioned in the comments above that someone they knew refused to learn from others because then they would have to give that person credit for the information. How incredibly sad. Who cares who gets the credit. Carolee, if you give me a secret formula that makes me millions of dollars, not only will I give you credit, but I’ll take you out to Ruth’s Chis steakhouse every time you want to go.

      Who cares about who gets the credit?

      Life is way to short to be small.

  • Tom Jamieson says:

    Great post Nick! And so true! Those who are successful are there for a reason. Obviously they know how to get there. Why not celebrate and learn from that?

    • Nicholas Cardot says:

      I love that you mentioned the word celebrate. I think that it’s a perfect way to describe what our attitude should be toward the success of someone around us. Very well said.

  • Jean says:

    I can’t understand getting all green eyed with jealousy over famous bloggers who’ve made it to the A list.

    Anybody who’s gotten to the top worked damned hard to get there, most of those folks like Chris Brogan are kind and generous to all to boot.

    Why be jealous? celebrate their success, study, learn from their example! Success will come in a natural way then!

    • Nicholas Cardot says:

      I agree and just as I mentioned above to someone else, I think that celebration is the best response. People often grumble when good things happen to those around them. “Why couldn’t that happen to me?”

      Why can’t we be happy for those around us especially those who’ve worked so hard to earn what they have?

  • Elena says:

    I think that some people get so wrapped up on what they have or don’t have, they take their inferiority complex on those who are more successful.

    What all the bloggers you mentioned above have in common with the others is they are all human and it’s better to have fellow humans inspire you than seethe from inside. Beautifully put Nick.

    • Nicholas Cardot says:

      Thanks, Elena. I love reading Zen Habits by Leo Babauta. He makes it so easy to enjoy the concept that less is more. I love it because some times I feel like we get so caught up trying to have the latest and greatest gadget and I feel like it drives us buy things that we don’t really want and to envy people who have anything that we don’t have.

      Sometimes a simplified lifestyle is a more enjoyable lifestyle.

  • Suzanne C says:

    When I encounter someone who has a brilliant plan my first thought is, “wow, how did they come up with that?” I am fascinated by people’s minds and how each one varies. To be jealous of another’s success is just a silly waste of time. If you want something work for it, don’t be afraid, jump in and get your feet wet!

    I am happy with what I have, where I am going and most definitely who I am. That is thekey – be happy with yourself and then you will be happy for others.

  • Jenifer Olson says:

    Nicholas,

    Thank you for this timely post. I’ve been troubled lately by what I perceive as the bashing of many A-List bloggers, and until now, didn’t realize there were so many others who felt the same way.

    I love Tia Singh’s comment that… “Someone else’s success is not your failure.” And I agree wholeheartedly with the premise that we need to learn from those who are more successful to understand what works and why, and what we agree/disagree with and why. This diversity of thought is what helps each of us better define who we are and what we believe so that we can ultimately offer up our own unique perspectives. Whether our views are embraced by the online community – or not – comes down to whether our message sufficiently resonates with others.

    That said, I’m all for spirited, productive discussions about ideas and philosophies. I’d just really prefer to keep the conversations at a much higher level than many of the personal attacks I’ve witnessed lately.

    If you’re a blogger, tell me what you believe and why, and help me understand how what you’re saying is relevant to my professional or personal growth. Tearing someone else down with personal attacks does little to entice me to listen to you and sadly, will probably make me less likely to hear you at all…

    Again, Nicholas, thanks for a good post…

    Jenifer Olson @jenajean

  • Reza Winandar says:

    Don’t be jealous friend, be motivated and be strong to face the world.

  • Great Bloggers in my Google Reader says:

    […] influence. You be the judge. I’d say he’s doing pretty well. Some of his blog posts include Excuse Me, Friend, Your Jealousy is Showing, The Great Divide & The Real Value of Free, and A Purist’s Take on Search Engine […]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.